Cape Town Day Hikes: Smitswinkelsbaai to Simonstown

via Swartkop Peak

8 January 2023

Oh, What A Hike!

I hike a lot. Duh.

Sometimes I get a little bit blasé about the hikes I do, particularly day hikes. Sometimes I get a little tickboxy… you know… let’s just do it so I can say I did it. That kind of thing.

I know what hikes I can do every day, the ones that never bore me.

Platteklip Gorge is not that hike.

I know what hikes I will probably never do again. (*side-eye* Kloof Corner Ridge *side-eye*… but never say never.)

There are so many trails out there, so many I haven’t even heard of; so many I am terrified to do (yes you, Right Arrow Face!) So when a hike comes along that blows me away, I am happy to jump off the blasé wagon and whoop it from the rooftops.

Simons Town

Sunday 8 January 2023, another hellishly hot day in the Mother City, was one such epiphanic hike.

Smitswinkels to Simons Town. I had seen the signs to the Smitswinkel hiking trail on many occasions when driving past, to a beach along the east (is it east? Someone with a sense of direction please balance me here?) coast or on my way to the Cape Point Nature Reserve.

It’s not a hike that appears on many bucket lists. Not the buckety-list ones anyway.

Rather, this is one of the secretly delicious hikes known to locals and a select few.

Simons Town is a quaint (I hate how that word has become a cliché) but it’s a perfect descriptor for this town steeped in maritime history.

According to Wikipedia it’s east of Cape Town and is the location of the South African naval base. Incidentally two road races start and/or finish inside the naval base, viz The Peninsula Marathon which finishes inside the naval base and the John Korasie 30km race which both starts and finishes there.

I think it’s kind of cool that the civilian public has this level of access to a national key point. Thank you SANDF (South African National Defence Force) for allowing this. Maybe not so good for national security. But who is going to invade South Africa when Eskom is doing such a magnificent job of destroying us from the inside?

The main road of Simons Town is lined with Victorian-style buildings, complete with wrought-iron trimmings, housing coffee shops, restaurants and even an army surplus store. One could spend hours browsing, if that were one’s wont.

It’s slightly more straight-laced (straight-laced, Victorian.. get it? Is it weird to laugh at my own jokes?) than hippy Kalkies (aka Kalk Bay) but more about that in my next post.

Simons Town is also home to the South African maritime museum. And there is also a touching statue to the greatest of danes, Just Nuisance, the only canine ever to be officially enlisted in the Royal Navy, in town.

(We don’t deserve dogs!)

Whenever I am in Simons Town, named after Simon v d Stel, I feel as if I have taken a step back in time.

The town, which is now part of the greater Cape Town metropolitan area, is the crown jewel in the False Bay harbour (playground of the Great White shark), neighbour to the penguin colonies at Boulders Beach and is buffeted by some of the most gorgeous (warmish-water!) beaches in Cape Town.

Smitswinkelbaai

Translated verbatim, the name is ‘Blacksmith’s Shop Bay’. A mouthful.

Who the blacksmith in question is/was, will remain a mystery.

Smitswinkelbaai itself is a secluded beach, several kms past Simons Town, but just before the Cape Point Nature Reserve.

If you blink, you will miss it; it’s famously hard to reach except by hiking down and the residential area, if you could even call it that, is sparsely populated with no electricity or bulk services (including water) to the few residences in the area.

Because of its challenging accessibility, the beach is less popular with bathers, making it pristinely desolate.

Smitswinkelbaai is also (so I have heard) an ideal spot for scuba diving and snorkelling. It boasts 4 shipwrecks (deliberately sunk by the South African Navy in the 1970s).

Sometimes this hike is started from Simons Town to Swartkop, and then down to Smitswinkelbaai.

We chose to do it the other way round, starting at the Smitswinkelsbaai side.

20 Intrepid hikers set off from Cape Town very early, to arrive at the start at 5.30am.

The hike was organised by Dirty Toes, who got a permit for 20 pax. The permit is free and is required for conservation purposes only.

Our hike leader was Platinum Man, also known as Mr. Dirty Toes.

We left some cars in Simons Town and carpooled to Cape Point, parking the cars at the reserve, since no cars were allowed at the start/end of the trail.

Smitswinkel : The Hiking Trail

Dirty Toes and Platinum Man have an ongoing debate about which is the best route for this trail.

Dirty Toes prefers Smitswinkel to Simons Town, while Platinum Man (so named for being a legendary Iron Man competitor!) prefers doing it from Simons Town.

We said we would have to do it the other way around before we could weigh in on their debate. (*wink* *wink* *nudge* *nudge*)

It was windy, as only Cape Town does windy… one minute a refreshing breeze, the next a howling gale. I mildly regretted not packing a proper jacket but the fleecy top I hastily threw in as an after-thought proved adequate against the pinching wind.

We were too excited to pose for a full group pic, but there was much clowning around by the usual suspects.

It was a short walk along the fence and then onto the trail. The trail started to incline gently and before long we were confronted by some rocks we needed to scramble over.

It was not a hectic scramble by any means but it was long and took us to the top of the peak where we were gobsmacked by the most amazing view of Smitswinkel.

I looked back at one point, arrested by the view of the bay, but also by how far we had clamboured over rocks. It was like climbing over the spine of a stone dinosaur.

One of the best scrambles I have done in a long time. There were one or two moments that were slightly hairy, but overall, it was amazing.

I felt exhilarated when I got to the top, as if I had conquered the world.

Special Shout Out to Platinum Man and Mubeen for making sure everyone got to the top in one piece, no thanks to the howling wind.

Top Of The World

If the hike ended right there, I would have been more than happy!

We were on top of the world.

Please note this is a long scramble and you need to be fit (not quite Iron Man fit) but reasonably fit.

Also, the scramble on this hike is only the starter. When I looked back, I understood why Dirty Toes preferred coming up from Cape Point’s side. To scramble down this long stony dinosaur spine, on tired legs (I did not know how tired yet!) would be challenging only because you will tend to stumble more when you are already tired.

So I am tending to side with Dirty Toes on this one, and not just because she is prettier.

Breakfast Rock

Err… not quite!

Elated and exhausted at the top, we broke out the breakfast things. It was time to celebrate. Platinum Man looked slightly perplexed but he allowed us our moment. We thought we were up and now had to go down. We did not realise we had to cross over the plateau and then summit Swartkop, before descending.

No matter. Fortified with muffins (The Pun King and his endless stash of muffins were back from vacation) and coffee, we set off again.

While scrambling up, the wind had been spitefully biting, bringing with it a layer of mist but once we reached the top, the wind died down and the sun started to burn off the mist.

Smitswinkel sparkled in the morning glow.

We shed our outer layers and followed Platinum Man across the plateau towards Simons Town.

What Lies Over Yonder?

We had no idea. We could see the reservoir at the abandoned naval base where lies the grave of Just Nuisance, legendary Great Dane hero of WWII.

I am saddened by the government’s abandonment of these historical places, allowing it to go to ruin while they steal the fiscus blind.

South Africa has sadly degenerated into yet another failed African state due to shameless and rampant government corruption, ineptitude, and incompetence.

But yes, let’s lie to ourselves and twist and turn in our sleep, about the ‘New South Africa’ dream.

Today, as I write this (16/01/2023) my EskomSePush app says I am due for 10 hours of blackouts. But we will vote for the ANC again in 2024, we will tell our people that whites are the problem and Apartheid is to blame while today, the ANC government steals poor people’s money, and we will continue to lie to ourselves about ‘freedom’, ‘democracy’ and ‘equality’.

Take your version of corruptocracy ANC and shove it up your collective asses. I want an uninterrupted power supply, a crime-free society and welfare for the poor. You can shove YOUR version of democracy, which only benefits those who have access to power.

I am not going to turn this into a political rant. I go to the mountains because it’s the only thing that tempers the overwhelming rage at the cosmic joke that is the current state of affairs in South Africa and the disgusting incompetence, we have learned to accept under the African National Corruptocracy.

They are a disgrace. The Struggle against Apartheid is over. The new Struggle is against corruption, crime and poverty. Nelson Mandela said, “Among our country’s greatest challenges are crime, joblessness and corruption. “

Eliminate the corruption, you can use the money to create jobs and stimulate the economy, and you eliminate crime. But you can’t do that if you have a criminal organisation running the country.

/rant off/

Endless Beauties

I am angry while I write this. I may probably edit a lot of it out later but for now, I’m venting.

To distract myself, I will upload pics of the absolute beauty that is the country, which I love so much, I want to cry for the mess the ANC has turned it into.

Cry, the Beloved Country … Alan Paton had no idea what he was talking about.

Even the rock formations on the plateau were gorgeous!

We were very well taken care of by Dirty Toes and Platinum Man.

They were rightly, and inordinately proud of their little corner of the world. I understood why.

Once we crossed the plateau, we were faced with a seemingly daunting climb up to Swartkop peak.

It was still early morning, but the wind had been beaten into retreat by the sun and we felt the heat, all 40 degrees of it.

It was going to be another Cape Town scorcher. Beach weather, yay! (You would think.)

We started to ascend the peak.

I am delighted to report that the climb looks a lot worse than it actually is. It was a gradual climb and not too strenuous, although the heat made it that much more challenging.

Swartkop

Swartkop Peak provided uninterrupted, picture-perfect-postcard-worthy (more cliches!) vistas of the town of Simonstown itself and the naval base.

Sometimes words are inadequate. Sometimes you just need to take a long, fortifying look at the majesty, the beauty, the perfection of the natural world.

Simons Town was showing off. Navy blue ocean, cloudless cerulean sky, and pristine white beaches. From where we were the world looked perfect.

I could have stayed up there forever.

A Tale Of Two Hikes

Swartkop Peak is a hike on its own; so what were doing in effect, was 2 hikes.

This is becoming a habit I quite like.

We took a longish break waiting for everyone to summit Swartkop while inhaling the views.

Sometimes God turned on the air conditioner, providing a slight reprieve from the relentless sun.

Down From Hell

Aneesa, who had done this trail before, commented on the ‘Neverending Down’. I learned quickly what she meant.

Down.

It went on.

For.

Ever.

And then some more.

The descent from Swartkop Peak was as relentless and merciless as the summer sun.

Made more challenging by the heat. I could hardly believe I donned a warm fleece early that morning.

We discussed, not idly, mind you, the merits of installing a cable car from the top of Swartkop peak.

We finished the hike at 11.30am. It took us a good 6 hours, including long breaks and regroups but we made it.

I know I bored all and sundry with my constant, “Oh my God, I love this hike!”

The hike is longer than your average day hike. The scramble is lovely with one or two hairy bits (if you have a fear or heights, but nothing too daunting). The views blow your mind, a reminder of how blessed we are to live here, to call Cape Town home.

The only bit I didn’t enjoy was the “Neverending Down”, worsened by the heat.

The neverending down is the only reason I would want to do it in reverse, although going up Swartkop Peak would present challenges of its own, I’m sure.

Everyone made it down successfully, with a lot of encouragement from Dirty Toes and endless patience and assistance from Platinum Man.

We tried to go for a dip in the ocean after, and while some (yes, the Prof, of course) and a few others, did brave the water, the howling wind whipping up sand, made it a ‘no’ from me.

Waist-deep at Windmill beach was as far as I was prepared to go.

I need to take this moment to thank Shanaaz and Ahmed Zaid for introducing us to this hike, for their patience and kindness and amazing hospitality.

From the bottom of my heart, I thank you!

Let’s go again, yeah?

Soon!